Ingrata by Default

There’s no "I" in TEAM

March 10, 2010

I set the alarm at 4:30 a.m. but natural habit of turning it off and going back to sweet slumber overcame by ability to become a team player.
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Posted by joycerica at 7:44 pm | permalink | Add comment

And the plot thickens….

AND THE PLOT THICKENS

Think of it this way, it’s like getting splashed with ice cold water or better yet getting a block of iceberg thrown at your face in the early morning.

It’s like the first time you got your period only you didn’t wear a napkin and you’re bleeding all over the place.

It’s like suddenly you cannot breathe because you’re being choked to death. BANGUNGOT.

It’s like unveiling the ultimate twist in a story that would make you go OH HELL TO THE NO.

I’m talking in riddles. I know. I’m sorry. I’m just really overwhelmed. I can’t even get myself to say it. DENIAL.

I must trust myself or let myself trust ME. Whoever that ME is. I must channel some sort of persona. Somebody who’ve I’ve learned not to rouse from the depths of my unconscious because that persona can really be the HYDE.

Dramatic. Theatric event. I’m left with another question to answer. AM I READY?

Of course I’m being a wuss. Always have. WHAT A WUSS.

OMG. Is this how a breakup feels like? Like you’re totally incomplete, broken and LOST? Why is it a lot similar in falling in love –hey I have to be consistent with the whole mush month-theme right?

Am I in denial?  I wanna be. Yes, because I want to believe that things will be alright. I want to dwell on the concept of happily ever-after. No goodbyes. Everybody remains to be happy. Everybody gets a fair share of endorphins. Nobody has to leave and while others have to make major decisions while swallowing buckets of tears.

I’m being selfish. I’m being selfish at the wrong fucking time. I must learn to accept this completely and wholeheartedly. I must be mature enough to take it.

I must…. get drunk and forgot about this post entirely.

 
[original post date: 2/8/10]
Posted by joycerica at 7:39 pm | permalink | Add comment

Status Quo

February 14, 2010

No. of roses received = 0

No. love letters/cards read = 0

No. of chocolates eaten = 1 pack of flat tops [frankly, i have lost count]

No. of forwarded quotes received = 0

No. of stuffed toys received = 0

No. of hugs and kisses = 1 Hug from an officemate

No. of dates cancelled/rejected = 0

No. of wrists slashed = 0

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Posted by joycerica at 8:08 pm | permalink | Add comment

Resurfacing

January 18, 2010

I’m permanently assigned in the mid shift, that’s 1pm – 10pm (until further notice).

 

It means that’s I am temporary a day person until such time that they’ve figured out that I am much more efficient at night because while most are already snoring their brains out, I am just starting to pour a some rum in my coffee.

 

It’s been awhile since I walk, breathe and live in broad daylight. I’m frequently getting migraines for that. Thank you very much.
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Posted by joycerica at 8:10 pm | permalink | comments[1]

January Syndrome 2010

January 9, 2010

It’s a miracle that I have survived the last quarter of the year 2009. You can probably tell that I was too swamped to rant about it since my posts were just reduced to once a month which is like withdrawal. It was hell during those times that I was not able to write. It’s like loosing my senses completely. Writing is my only catharsis that taking it out of my routine would like crippling a soldier.

 

Anyway, we’re back to zero again we start another year. Another year, another chance to fuck it up. I’m extremely, desperately hopeful that this year I’ll be able to vindicate myself–to make up for the screw ups I made for the past year. How to achieve that is gonna be a work in progress which brings me to a recap of the pass few months that I was away chasing my sanity and trying to avoid seeking professional help.

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Posted by joycerica at 12:35 am | permalink | comments[3]
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