left behind

Simply put..Nawalat sa Pancitan.. Iniwan sa Pansitan.. As planned we were supposed to go to Singapore this moment. There were no formal plans whatsoever. Or so I thought..Until I read the post of my cousin in her multiply site. Under the events section..The title struck me. It says.."Welcome to Singapore" and the date was today–Oct 11, 2007. WTF? I never ever got any message saying "Hey are you still game for Singapore? We already bought tickets?" Ok.ok. I did say that I'm not sure if I'd be able to go since a.) I don't have a passport and b.) I don't have enough money. The thing is when I asked them a few weeks ago, they said "It's still tentative"–meaning it might be moved to another date. At least that's how I thought of it. Even if I did show little enthusiasm of going because I am so stuck at work and I am so broke, I did show a tinge of effort by getting a passport. I just got it last week. They could have at least…at the very least have the decency to remind me that "hey, we're gonna bounce! Are you coming or not?" I just felt left out when all of a sudden they just decided to go and didn't even bother to text or call me. Am I being over sensitive? If I am, please slap me in the face! Right now! I just felt a bit betrayed. Let's say they didn't really mean to exclude me from their plans, they might have really thought that I AM 100% SURE THAT THERE IS NO CHANCE IN HELL THAT I COULD MAKE IT! Well, they could have AT THE VERY LEAST.. informed me. After all, when they decided to go there, they did invite me if I wanted to go. When I said 'I wasn't sure' There's a possibility that I would say YES or NO.. And when I asked them before if the trip will still push through..I didn't get a straight answer… So please tell if me I don't have the right to cuss and whine? I mean of all people! You are my family. What the hell is this? I mean if you plan to go there all by yourselves that's absolutely fine with me. But please, please just tell that you're excluding me from your plans because at least I'd know and I wouldn't have this tinge of uncertainly and hope of still joining your trip. I would very much appreciate it if you could say it to my face..  So ok, I sound bitter. I admit it because I am hurt.Hurt and betrayed by the fact that you among all people were insensitive.  Call me pathetic, shallow or whatever. If there's any miscommunication on my part, I am sorry. But please just don't discount the fact that I do care and I do want to be with all of you. That being said, I end this post. You all go have a ball!