pale is the new tan

While everyone’s busy enjoying the summer sunshine and possible heat stroke, I am perfecting the art of vampiracy! Yes, there is such a word (because I said so). Summer–the time of the year when we experience
hell’s fury. Yes, there is hell in this patch of earth. Well, in our case, since we’re lying just above the equator–it’s really hell hot for most parts of the year.

Unlike most of the nation’s population who is worrying how to get the perfect tan— I am searching for the perfect sunblock.
UV rays.. very bad! Global warming–dawning upon us.

Why not just stay under the shade? Bring an umbrella? Wear dark sunglasses?

There are other ways to spend summer for the vampirate, like moi. As a heliophobic,  here’s how I am spending my summer–the last part of it anyway.

1. I haven’t been in the beach. So what? I refuse to bask in the sun’s rays.
I prefer moon bathing. It’s more….alluring except during a full moon.

2. Turn the Heat on! Well, sauna’s good. Self-flagellation at its best. It’s equivalent to walking to and from your beach hut 100 x. Well, it depends on how hot you want it to be. And I am not even talking dirty.

3. No Tan. No Entry. I’m not a fan of conformity. I say. PALE IS THE NEW TAN. Tan lines are just marks that will eventually go away. It will leave you with uneven skintone.Eww. Merely walking  from the MRT station to the office can gives me the tan that I don’t need.

4. There is no such thing as the perfect bikini—a perfect SPF lotion, maybe.So I am no longer searching for one. I am, instead on the verge of a book hunt. Finding good reads even in those 3 for Php 50 book stores.

5. Stay in bed, Get ahead. I say bum around. Watch as many episodes of HOW I MET
YOUR MOTHER as possible.

6. Night swimming. Perfect with moon bathing.

7. Surf’s up! The internet is the lesser evil. Well, I discovered a lot of good reads and links that led me to online series watching and such.

8. Check out your friends’ profile—they’ve probably posted their summer getaway pictures on
friendster or multiply. Who’s got the flab and the hot bod? Hmmm.. tsk tsk tsk

9. Listen to the waves. Smell the sea. Go to the spa, you can get a dose of it. You won’t need a plane ticket or a long boat ride.

I can only think of 9.