touch my body

For those who don’t know me, I am not always the touchy-feely type.

So for the sake of information, You (who shall not be named) must be aware that you cannot come in contact with me —physically just because:

1. You think it’s cute.

2. You think I’m cute.

3. You think that the only way to communicate or to get to the point is through pinching me, tapping my shoulder or caressing my elbow.

4. You are unaware of the advances you are making but it’s undeniably obvious.

5.  You are touchy-feely and you think all people appreciate skin to skin interaction.

You may poke,caress,grab, grope, touch me if and only if:  

1. You are BRANDON BOYD.

2. You are about to fall, slip, or slide and I am the closest person you can find as leverage.

3. You are blind and you have mistaken me for a lamp post.

4. The feeling is mutual.

5. I am too drunk to function. 

So the next time you make the "move" again, I shall ask for a temporary restraining order. 

the truth about truths

  from Grey’s Anatomy:

The truth hurts… so we lie..

Here’s some examples:

1. You found out that you are dying. You decided that you’d keep this secret from your loved ones.You lied about your condition because you don’t like them to treat you differently. You don’t want to realize that they would only care for you because your days are numbered. You don’t want to undergo the stages of acceptance. You don’t want to feel that sharp sting –like a-needle-on-the-heart sensation.

2. You found out that your significant other was cheating on you. You should have ditched the bastard long ago. But you are stuck in denial. You acted like you didn’t know. You wanted it to save the relationship. You just hope that he would eventually wake up one day and say that " I am better off with her" and dump the third party.  Your friends found out that your significant other was indeed a two-faced asshole. Yet, you turned a blind eye and made excuses.

3. You are so vain–to the point that you think everyone is talking about you. You continiously loathe on yourself, praise and even worship the ground you walk on…because deep inside you are broken like your china doll smashed into hundreds of pieces.

4. You womanize. You religiously go to places where the opposite sex are hanging around–GYM, CLUBS, RESTOS, BAR, … You hit on every woman you see. You’re on fire, as if you have been stucked in planet with no women….Others think that you are thing obnoxious pig who sees vajajays instead of faces. But in your hearts of hearts… you’re more gay that ten thousand Will Trumans combined.

5. People around you lie to you all the time. You’ve been bamboozled and deceived on a daily basis. You’ve been contemplating on why on earth among all people, you have been the unlucky loser handpicked to be the liar’s ginea pig. You felt like the only way to get even is to be like on of them.

I just realized this while my officemate (in our 8hour-shift) divulge her entire lifestory.  Sometimes, being a sponge has it’s perks.

feline love

I like cats. I like dogs too.. I think dogs are better than cats. Being dubbed as "mans bestfriend", dogs are far more reliable than cats.

Cats are cooler though, thus the idiom "cool cat" (I’m not sure it’s an idiom).  Cats have this laid-back attitude.  It shows in their face. I haven’t seen a picture of a cat with an intense face or maybe it depends on the breed  but I don’t know. I miss my cats. Well, it’s just cat now. Well, actually,  I’m not even sure if they’re still alive. So sad.

I am asthmatic and my mom used to scold me for always bringing the cat inside the house, but it didn’t really matter to me. I love how they purr when you pat or stroke the top of their head. They’re so "malambing". When my cats see me approaching they run fast and start stroking they’re heads against my legs. When I sit down, they jump on my lap. Lucky cats, they get an instant massage from me. And when in they are in the playful mode — they use me as a scratching post. Good thing I wear denim during those time. If not, my legs will look like a tree bark.

O well. I plan to own another one someday. If only they allow pets in our building, I would have brought mine long time ago. 

Random thoughts…

Random thoughts from the wide-eyed vampirate slash graveyard shifter

1.When they say " the greater the responsibility given to you, the higher trust they have on you" they actually mean.. it seems that you can handle all the shitty work load so here you go… a truckload of new assignments waiting for you.

Sometimes I wish I was irresponsible. Irresponsibility has it perks.. or maybe just a ONE.

People will not rely on you. You’re not number one in their 10 most responsible people I know who cannot say no if I ask a favor.

I was shocked to receive an email coming from my boss inviting me to join the teleconference with big wigs of our Global HR. Me? Not me? NOooooo!!! Nosebleed! Pressure? No shit.

What to do? Fight or Flight? But actually, I don’t really have a choice. Come’on!

I do hope that I don’t screw up.  *Insert summer mantra* Be cool.. Cool like the watermelon.

The thing is… I am the exact opposite of coolness. I can’t keep myself calm (and I don’t even drink caffeinated drinks).

I stammer when I’m nervous. I eat my words. I suddenly have lapses in grammar.

2. I hate it when people mispronounce my name or more like omits to say my name properly. My full name’s unique but my nickname’s one of the most common  names in the world.  Among all the names that you can call me, please refrain from calling me JOY. I am not a dish washing liquid.  I am the plural form of JOY. Literally and otherwise.

3. The need to get to the first train ride can be hazardous to one’s well-being. Early morning train rides —meaning pushing and shoving, even if it means pushing the ones on the edge–is really really nerve-wrecking.

4. When he said dehydrated — he actually means… TIGANG… Hmm. So to hydrate means… Ok fill in the blanks.

5. I hate the weather. But I guess the feeling is mutual.

6.  I don’t get it. Since when did reinventing your name makes you better, faster, stronger a.k.a FIERCE. Adding -licious and -miester to your name is ugh… uhm… pathetic in my own opinion.

e.i. Michielicious or Fredmiester

7. In an alternate universe, Aunt Joyce exists. The not-so-eligible bachelorette, who funds her nephews and nieces tuition fees, owns a humongous mansion near a hill top yet lives with a hundred cats.

8. I dislike pinching. I know I’m cute. You can look but you can’t touch…well, unless you’re Brandon Boyd–then by all means.

9. You and you’re big mouth.  Now, you’re secrets out. Waaaaaah!!!!!  Hide under your table, quick.

10.  There’s this whole debate on which David is better ( I’m referring to AI finalists Cook and Archuleta). Archuleta is this shy little boy—cute but not very appealing in my own opinion. No offense, he sings well, but shows mild-autistic tendencies like when he giggles or more like snort.  And I didn’t pick David C. just because he’s the rockstar. Ok, I did but I think it’s time that the people choose the idol coming from a different genre. Well, they’re will be in the mainstream—POP but unlike Taylor or Carrie who’s more on the ballad side of town. But then again, this is just my opinion. I was never a fan of AI to be honest…

pale is the new tan

While everyone’s busy enjoying the summer sunshine and possible heat stroke, I am perfecting the art of vampiracy! Yes, there is such a word (because I said so). Summer–the time of the year when we experience
hell’s fury. Yes, there is hell in this patch of earth. Well, in our case, since we’re lying just above the equator–it’s really hell hot for most parts of the year.

Unlike most of the nation’s population who is worrying how to get the perfect tan— I am searching for the perfect sunblock.
UV rays.. very bad! Global warming–dawning upon us.

Why not just stay under the shade? Bring an umbrella? Wear dark sunglasses?

There are other ways to spend summer for the vampirate, like moi. As a heliophobic,  here’s how I am spending my summer–the last part of it anyway.

1. I haven’t been in the beach. So what? I refuse to bask in the sun’s rays.
I prefer moon bathing. It’s more….alluring except during a full moon.

2. Turn the Heat on! Well, sauna’s good. Self-flagellation at its best. It’s equivalent to walking to and from your beach hut 100 x. Well, it depends on how hot you want it to be. And I am not even talking dirty.

3. No Tan. No Entry. I’m not a fan of conformity. I say. PALE IS THE NEW TAN. Tan lines are just marks that will eventually go away. It will leave you with uneven skintone.Eww. Merely walking  from the MRT station to the office can gives me the tan that I don’t need.

4. There is no such thing as the perfect bikini—a perfect SPF lotion, maybe.So I am no longer searching for one. I am, instead on the verge of a book hunt. Finding good reads even in those 3 for Php 50 book stores.

5. Stay in bed, Get ahead. I say bum around. Watch as many episodes of HOW I MET
YOUR MOTHER as possible.

6. Night swimming. Perfect with moon bathing.

7. Surf’s up! The internet is the lesser evil. Well, I discovered a lot of good reads and links that led me to online series watching and such.

8. Check out your friends’ profile—they’ve probably posted their summer getaway pictures on
friendster or multiply. Who’s got the flab and the hot bod? Hmmm.. tsk tsk tsk

9. Listen to the waves. Smell the sea. Go to the spa, you can get a dose of it. You won’t need a plane ticket or a long boat ride.

I can only think of 9.