Post - Halloween Melodramatic Thoughts…

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.
To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

-Pablo Neruda-

Oh noes. Not another one. *Sigh*

Just checked out of the Bates’ Motel several days ago. Thank God, I got out in one piece. Recalling past Halloween events was not actually a spectacular idea. But I guess I just have to go through it. While at home, I once again went through all our photo albums. So now, I’m writing this post.

Although I do love Halloween as a kid (even if trick or treating is not part of it), bad stuff always  seems  to fall on that fateful day(or maybe I am the bearer of the bad news in the family.)It’s the dreaded day of Mom’s accident–the day that  permanently etched in my memory, the day which probably explains the outcome of events that happened in the last two years.

It takes awhile for all of it to sink in. And maybe I’m still stuck on that certain page. Stubborn as I’ve always been. I think there will come a point when I can clearly say to myself that “Enough is enough.”  Thus this continuous brooding may  entail that I haven’t reach that point yet…maybe because it was all abrupt….maybe because there were a lot of things left undone….unsaid…

And so yes, among all those other melodramatic scraps that I’ve been writing, this is the most valid one (not that it needs validation coz yeah, I just write what I feel   like writing.) And today I feel like writing the saddest lines…

Mom, why did you ever leave?  Dad is being a huge pain in the ass.