From MOA to Hell

Uhm, the post is kinda late…but anyway. Yes, if you are living in the metro, you can only wish that you will not go through the hassle of commuting with sweaty orcs, pick pockets, butt-grabbing toddlers and breast-feeding mothers. But since, I am almost always living below poverty line, I cannot afford to take a cab everyday for the rest of my life. No, I chose not to own a car (for now). I opted to stay alive for 5 more years so yep, I can’t learn to drive just yet. In short, getting groped, assaulted, stomped, pushed, or shoved by the rest of the metro’s commuting population is something that I have to endure every now and then.

What’s my favorite mode of transportation you asked? Can I say….Osmosis!!!?? Well, I have a bias for MRT because it’s the fastest one so far. You’ll reach your destination within a span of 5-15 minutes provided that it’s not rush hour. HA! But yes, MRT gives you all the reasons to enroll yourself in either anger or stress management course. I also abhor jeepneys and buses. Bus drivers are emissaries of Satan. In fact, I think that they’re always either high on drugs or just really sick and twisted. They think they own the road (Well, pretty much most drivers here ) and you being a mere commuter should bow down to their mad, mad skillz. And if you have a major death wish that self-mutilation cannot seal,  then I  advice you to partake in a one-of-a-kind journey via an ordinary bus. Also, if you think life’s a huge bore or you’re an adrenaline junkie, then my friend this is something you ought to try.  Lately, I’ve been commuting via bus. Main reason is it’s accessible and cheap. Two things I always consider in every action or decision I make these days. And this particular death ride which I happen to survive last week was something worth to blog. It was almost 9pm and I had enjoyed the entire afternoon with Nan and Penny. Fearing that we might not catch the last ride in the MRT, we opted to take the bus home. Plus, Nan said ordinary buses are “safer” and less prone to muggers and scum-bags….. Or so we thought!

When we reached the bus stop, the a/c buss was already on it’s way so we had no choice (Well, actually we do but we were in a hurry) but to take the next one that passes by.

Yep, the next one was an ordinary bus (fresh from the graveyard, actually). Reluctantly, we entered and even before we got to our seats, the bus was already running at an average speed of 70 or 80 mph.  The wind was blowing so hard, my face felt numb. It’s the kind of feeling where you think you’re having a free facelift. Who needs Botox?? And every time the driver pulls over (which is like every 5 minutes), it was like being shoved by a huge wrestler. If you’re not holding on to your dear life, you’ll your head bashed in front of the backrest of another seat. Yeah, physics can be a bitch. The bus was moving so fast that almost all the things you see outside’s a blur.  As it skids itself in the traffic-ridden street, you only have one thing it mind. WILL I EVER GET OUT OF HERE ALIVE?? God, please get it over with. If it’s my time,  it’s my time. We  were bouncing off our seats, Nan almost fell on the floor. Or if worst, you might also hit the ceiling. 

It’s like a roller coaster ride–you can raise your arms and scream. No one can hear you. No one! because the badass driver want you hand-deliver you to Satan himself.  I also noticed that all passengers need to get close the door at about an average of 500 meters before his/her stop because if you fail to do so, you’ll never get out of that death trap. The bus begins to speed off, even before your toes touch the ground.  Yes, drivers are assholes.  

And as we enter the tunnel, the lights suddenly went off. Yes, you can only imagine the huge panic in our faces. It’s a horror train slash roller coaster!!! And within a quarter of a second my heart was pounding like crazy. Stupid, adrenaline!

But yeah, fortunately we all got out –alive and in one piece. I wasn’t able to properly say goodbye to the two, though. I fear that if I turn back and gesture a “bye”, the sneaky driver will stomped on the gas pedal while letting out  a diabolical laugh and miss the only loading zone near my place.

So someday, I will make osmosis and teleportation the main means of travel. Say, aye if you’re with me. But if not, I can always join you and your suicidal attempt to finish your mundane existence. I haven’t even told you about the FX diaries yet but let’s save that for later.

Byaheng langit to, pre! 

Peace, Love and Rock N Roll!

Biahera