Pounds of Flesh

Sometimes when you win, you lose.

Previously in my life (that is when I am not chasing butterflies or getting backstabbed for unpaid overtimes), I try to convert myself into a more healthy douchebag. I tried the 90-days-to-wellness program which I failed miserably. Hahahahaha. Point at me and laugh, all together now. If you have been reading through the past few posts, you might have sensed that desperation already. 

Didn’t shed a pound, despite the bitter fact that I was continiously living below poverty line  for the last 3 months coz I enrolled in that boxing class. Hey, but boxing’s a really good work out. Makes you feel old though, lots of body ache and katinko-application afterwards but I think I’m gonna enroll again.

The winners got a free hotel accommodation, spa treatments and makeovers. Yeah, like I need that?! Sore loser that I am.  The thing is I was motivated to undergo some sort of self-flagellation but I was too scared to actually risk it all — you know, like drinking diet pills, laxatives or something that might screw me over. What else is left to be damaged aside from my barely-there self-esteem? No, I am not a gambler. And I feel like if I resort to taking drugs, I’ll  just cheat my way into that coca-cola body frame.  I’m really stubborn, can you actually tell?

An officemate of mind offered that I should drink this pill that will cease hunger –not like totally but perhaps lessen your appetite. For six months you have to drink it. It costs around 1000.00 bucks for some number of pills. I don’t recall how many. I’m really cheapass these days. Aside from food, I want to spend my money on cds, shoes — you know shit that really matters. No I haven’t really thought about submitting myself to a surgeon to recreate me in the likeness and image of let’s say…Megan Foxx. Sure sure, if you have the money, why not? But for now, I digress.

Going back, surprisingly he did lose weight. I can now see his adam’s apple. Amazing! However, being the spineless twit that I am, I did not take the tempting offer….Well, not yet! I might. But then again….

I still believe that boxing, grueling workout sessions, running, sauna, swimming, and all other physical activities known to man (ahem) can do the trick. And of course proper diet which involves curbing your cravings for chocolates and everything else that is really palatable, delicious and unhealthy —-totally scraping them from your food pyramid will give you the ideal weight that you’re supposed to have.

Imagine, my ideal weight now was my weight when I was in high school. HIGH SCHOOL. That was some 10 years ago. Some of my batchmates gave birth to 2 or 3 rugrats already? And you want me to what, go back and rub my ass to the pavement of my h/s building and expect a miracle? F to the U.

So why just start self-consciousing now? Why not now? Why not ever? It just goes to show how vain people get when it comes to attending a very important ocassion. A big wedding’s gonna happen (not mine, mind you). Besides, better start fixing things while they are still repairable. Yeah, I really rationalize a lot. I guess that’s part of quarterlife crisis.