The Morale of the Story

I learned so many things for the past 24 years of my existence. Some are brought about  by sheer ignorance and some through the painful indoctrination from the daughters of charity. Others from story books given by my Dad. Two important stories that I kept in mind would be the Little Red Riding Hood and the Pied Piper of Hamelin. Remember the ditzy girl who almost became a kosher meal because the cross-dressing wolf deceived her into thinking that he was her grandmother? No? Okay, that might be a spoiler.

Morale of the story is this:

1. Evil can cloak itself into something seemily harmless and pure. They will do anything to eat that cream pie in your picnic basket. That’s not a metaphor!

2. Always wear your contacts so you can see everything clearly. Or stop being naive.

3. Check if you’re talking to someone with opposable thumbs. You’ll never know. It also means be more sensitive.

4. Always bring a swiss knife. And I mean always. That means, work on your reflexes too. You might have a knife but it’ll be completely pointless when it’s used against you, now wouldn’t it?

5. The damsel in distress stunt is overrated. Thus, women are regarded to be weaklings and so are the rest of the fairytales.

Now moving on the PPH. Now, the Pied Piper is this guy who was summoned by the townsfolk because of the rat infestation. Thing is when he finally got rid of it and returned to get his bounty, the townsfolk refused to pay him. As a revenge, he began playing his flute luring the children away from their families and they were never found again.

Morale of the story:

1. Pay up, bitch. Yep, never ever leave your IOU card and hope that it won’t bite you in the back.

2. Don’t be an ingrate. If you can pay gratitude at least throw him a piece of bread or something. Don’t be a stiff dickwad.

3. Learn how to bargain. or at least try at gunpoint.

4.Don’t be the problem be the solution. Rat infestation? Clean up, why don’t you?!

5. Revenge is sweet.

So children, did we learn anything today?