Deadpan Diaries II

Dear Diary,

At this very moment, I am inside a bus homebound. Yes, I am mentally composing this entry because it’s 4:30 in the morning and 3 drunkards just got in the bus talking in some obsolete drunken language. 

In my semi-lucid consciousness, I started praying for dear life. Although, I do not create the slightest attraction easily, I fear and I mean my paranoia thinks that when it comes to drunks all is fair in love and war.

So yes, let us resume with the entry and the hail marys. I am sitting in front of these 3 drunkards trying not to eavesdrop and to look inconspicuous. However, the less I try to drew attention the results becomes otherwise.

I noticed one slightly turned his back and look at me and started saying some inaudible and incoherent  phrases to his drunk comrades. And then they laughed and teased each other like fucking hyenas. Meantime, I tried my mean-construction-worker-look and tried to act tough, with matching clenched fist. Yes, I learned that from watching some kung fu movies.

In this case, diary my mind is trying it’s hardest to plan for my escape in the event that this drunkards pull off any devious act. You see diary, I have this love-hate relationship with commuting. I like the fact that I am learning the ways and routes of the metro even in the wee hours and that I haven’t felt the urge to hoard unleaded gasoline because of the oil price hikes and what not. However, when it comes to safety and convenience, the idea of driving or eventually becoming a mutant and fly comes to mind. Now, if I were I mutant, I would be MAGNETA (Oh yes, what a rip off) and I will hurl cars and all sorts of vehicles out of my way because that’s just how I roll (pun intended).

And while we are on the subject of love-and-hate, the season of love and hating is here again. Christmas gives me all sorts of nostalgic feeling of home,  of endless sales, of massive people on streets, and gift wrappers scattered on the floor. Oh, hey It’s Scrooge talking here. Yes, once a year I play that part where I take my brooding to the next level. And in this particular season when all are really busy repairing their homes and restoring their lives because of the  triple threat typhoons or trying to look for a safe place to crash and burn. I don’t know how I’ll be able to  get pass the brooding every Christmas or whenever there’s a holiday. I juse feel like staying inside my own personal space and read my basic spanish grammar book or “think” of Johnny Depp.

Oh, diary I am exhausted and filthy and about to get off a bus ride from the north. Yes, I happen to make it out alive only because me and Johnny Depp have a lot of “thinking” to do. Happy happy joyjoy time. 

I shall wallow in my sweet imaginary sanctuary because tomorrow is another day and another chance to screw with the world. 

Until next,

J

No Comprende?

And while I attract mostly D.O.M.s  (whereas I can put different meanings in D - Desperate, Drunk or Dying), most of my friends lure a melting pot of testosterone from cougar-loving high school boys to awkward and creepy dancing foreigners, never in my wildest dreams have I imagined that what had happened during one of our night out’s happened.

On our way home from a night of “bible study”,we dropped by McDo (The Fort) to grab a bite or two.  If noticed, this certain McDo is the hangout of people who just came from a night of careless whispers  and ecstacy-induced gucci parties. Thus, it has become a hub for nursing hangover. Anyway, we were all seated discussing some really important matters about the “bible” when suddenly one of us (Cristina) noticed that a foreigner is mouthing some words which she cannot understand. So she goes, “Huh?”. The foreigner then brought his drink and started using sign language. He pointed at one of my friends  (Ariane)who was wearing an headband saying that it was pretty (in sign language). All of a sudden, his friends who were also speech-handicapped started huddling around our little group of “bible students”.

Another guy is starting a conversation (in sign language) to which none of us are able to elicit a proper response. So one of us (I think it was Ron), politely said the sorry-but-we-have-to-go-spiel.  All of us walk out, half-embarrassed, half-shocked and half-guilty.

What an awkward situation it was. Inside the car, we still can’t get over it.  We all remember how tensed most of us are because we don’t know how to respond appropriately when these …how shall i put it… confident men starts making conversation.

We all felt bad for excusing ourselves and walking out but in a perfectly insane world, how would you have responded?  No hablo esta senyales lenguahe?

K. I still suck at spanish.

Joyce’s Tips When Commuting

Since the dawn of my nomadic transformation, taking different rides from different modes of transportation has been one of its major highlights. Unlike before when squeezing my way into a train packed of estrogen-induced women/men or waiting in line for the fx slash shuttle to pick us up were the only means of travel I take, now it’s a different ball game. Learning how to drive and owning a car someday will only be considered as my last option if and only if, I learn to distinguish my left from my right, and decipher a road map correctly. Notice that this is a subtle revelation that I am poor in directions. For now, I stick to the major means of travelling which all includes the jeepney, tricycle and buses. I’ve realized and noted some important facts that are essential for you to survive your trip. I’m trying to be helpful here or at least attempting to because, really, commuting is my thing.  Yes, that was sarcasm! Moving forward with the list:

 
(more…)

While I’m away…You

1.are probably a registered voter by now.

2. have already  reserved a seat for the Pacquiao v.s. Cotto’s match or you’ve seen Pacquiao’s performance on Kimmel and is now packing your things getting ready to migrate to Mars. 

3.  have tailor-made a costume for halloween and won the scariest costume contest

4. might have lost you’re house or worst someone dear to you. : (

5.volunteered and help everyone who lost themselves along their properties.

6. are contemplating on joining the Pen Medina acting workshop.

7. successfully completed and submitted your entry for the writing contest.

8. celebrated Nov. 1 watching twilight.

9. are filing for your income tax return 

10. are done with your Christmas shopping and for that I hate you.

Meanwhile, I was….

-still searching for a new place. Thus, nomadic.

-practicing my event-management skills and is so far struggling at it

-learning the fastest way to commute via land

-wondering why people in the south are weird.

-getting ready for the next storm

-is also contemplating on that Pen Medina Acting Workshop

-recorded my first video blog