My Significant Less Retarded Other: Might be YOU!!? Ang Malas Mo! HAHAHAHA

Ayun. Nakiride na rin sa kahibangan ni Vainglorious Whore.

Some qualities I would like from the less retarded and hopefully better half:

1. A True Gentleman - I honestly do not know how to qualify nor quantify how a true gentleman must act. Does he need to open the door for me? That would be nice? Carry my bag for me? Geigh! I can carry my own handbag. Will he wipe my face when he sees that I have smeared ketchup all over because I’m such a slob when I eat? Awww, maybe that would be nicer too.

2. Writes. or At Least Writes Legibly - Yes.Legibly, not girly because I might be insulted. I would like be able to read your ****letter correctly, nay even interpret it better. I will not have to submit it for handwriting analysis.

3. Responds to YES and NO questions when absolutely necessary - What?? I need  simple answers to simple questions because I’m the one who should be complicated, not you. Well, we can switch roles but then you have to let me hold your balls for you.

4. Laughs with me NOT at me (well,okay sometimes you can) -  I can be funny sometimes, you know. And I can be sincere about making you laugh because I think humor is important next to tact or sincerity. Must appreciate that sarcasm is humor because the world is round! 

5. Knows how to Humor Me - Yep, in relation to no. 4. Disclaimer: That’s gonna be hard. I’m particular with my humor. It’s like when women are particular with their bags and shoes. Me, you just have to make me laugh without breaking a bone. I sometimes enjoy slapstick but no less theatrics the better.

6. Can and Will admit his mistakes - Everybody makes mistakes. Just say and be sorry. Although it would be nice if ever you put enough effort to make me go “AWWWWW. Really, turd? You’re sorry?! Okay. Come’on back in before you get arrested.”

7. Knows his LIQUOR - Because for me it’s all alcohol and it’s funny when we become one with alcohol. I get giggly drunk. I dance and for the finale….. I puke just like anybody with low alcoholic tolerance.  Yet, not to fret, I will always try to sober up before I pass out. Lesson learned.

8. Can carry himself well. How you dress may simply explain a bit of who you are. I don’t really care if you’re clothes are from branded or from second-hand thrift shops. I care about how long you tried to assemble it. I care about why you picked that tie or that checkered shirt instead of the others. I care about the simple things. Nice shoes would be a plus and maybe if he smells like this guy (oh sige, kahit talaga fabric softener lang. Okay na ko).

9. Street and Book Smart. - You can’t be from La Salle. Just Kidding. Must know his way around the universe. Plus, if you have good navigating skills because I have none. I’m sorry. Just one of the flaws you’re gonna deal with, dude. He must have a wide-range of knowledge from pop culture to quantum physics and thermo dynamics and will be able to explain the theory of relativity to ditzy-old-me.NAW. Okay na ko sa wide reader and can interpret maps. P.S. He sniffs books like I do, coz we’re K9 like that.

10. Music Lover - If you wanna be my lover, we should have at least a good number of bands that we share interest to. You must have listened to Spice Girls before turning hardcore. Plus, if you can play an instrument that would be awesome. I’d be you’re ultimate groupie. 

11.  Carpie Diem A little. Lives in the Present,Optimistic of the Future. - He must not live in the past nor in the future. He lives here and now. But he must know what’s in store in the future and that he’s prepared for it. I am not a BELIBER. But when I see it, I will concur.

12. Charming & Adorable - For me this must go hand-in-hand because without adorable, charm becomes harmless flirting and without charm, adorable just becomes pure cuteness. Cute are for pedofiles. I need a little sugar in my salt. 

13. Movie-buff and/or Must have been or is a fan of at least 2 of the greatest tv shows ever aired.. I did not say geek. Did I say geek? Must be an avid movie-goer because sometimes I see life in the movies. Must sometimes be a couch potato.

14. Lover, not a Fighter - In end, we all just need somebody to love not to fight with. But it’s gonna be hard not to have battles here and there.  Yet ultimately, you must submit to me. LOL. what.

15. Cried. At least once in his life. Because after all boys do cry. Sissy. Don’t worry, I will try not to bully you a lot. Seriously, once you have cried it would make you believe that crying is healthy but you wouldn’t want to make somebody cry because of hurt (especially women), because we have stronger and funkier hormones and it’ll be like rousing hell. So yeah, I hope you’re not into it as much as I’m not much fan of weeping boys in the courtyard.